I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
