Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Boobs speak an international language.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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