3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
God, I missed his penis.
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