Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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