Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
