I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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