I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
