Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
