I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize