it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
