it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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