The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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