so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
