We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
