we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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