you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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