hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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