whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
