Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm sobbing to NWA
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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