kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
