what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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