Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
