my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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