I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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