You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
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