I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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