I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I miss vodka workout Fridays
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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