I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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