i think my mom watched the whole time
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize