dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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