a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize