everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize