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It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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