Just fell off a train. Bad.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
