we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
