If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
