dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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