I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
