sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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