shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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