It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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