Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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