Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
And then he peed in my hair
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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