You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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