This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
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