My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
