Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
