so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Randomize
