I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
