yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
