I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I am never drinking with the goths again.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
