Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize