We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
