i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
