Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I supernannyed him into submission
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
