Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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