On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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