Are we in a gay sports bar?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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