man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
