In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize