I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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