I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
